Fathers are meant to love, yet they are meant to be strong but according to Izogie, “love makes you weak”. In other words, to love and be strong is tough.
It sounds more like a paradox but before you hasten to critique the contradiction, let me tell you who Izogie is. This is so that your judgement may be balanced.
The Woman King is an African movie, rich in culture, perfectly scripted, excellently delivered. It is the story of the liberation of Dahomey people from the Oyo Empire by the women warriors, the Agojies.
Jimmy Odukoya played one of the lead roles as Oba Ade, leading the Oyo Empire warriors. I must say his delivery was top notch.
Nanisca was a woman warrior, a war general. She was assisted by Igozie to command the palace guards. You are probably wondering the correlation between The Woman King and fatherhood. Just a moment.
Nawi, a 19 year old girl was about to be betrothed by her ‘father’ as a wife to a rich man who promised her physical abuse in good measure. Nawi would not have any of that. She revolted and her father, in anger, gifted her to the King.
Nawi chose to be a warrior, she won a place and got enrolled into the Agojies. The human in her was about to fall in love with a white man, one of the slavers. Hear Igozie’s admonition to Nawi –
“You are powerful, more than you know. Do not give your power away. Love makes you weak”.
Nanisca would later say this to the about to be initiated Agojies – “…we fight or we die; …we take no husband; we will bear no children; Mahi women, no harm will come to you for the sins of your men”.
Nawi reminded Nanisca that the men who are warriors have their wives and children but not same for women. Nanisca told Nawi – “to be a warrior, you must kill your tears”. The women warriors were not meant to express their emotions.
If you are yet to watch The Woman King, I suggest you do. Nanisca would later find out that Nawi was her daughter whom she gave away, being a product of rape.
The Agojies liberated the Dahomey people from the Oyo Empire warriors. King Ghezo crowned Nanisca as The Woman King.
The women warriors chose strength over love. They admitted they could not have both. They won the war with might, at the expense of love.
On the contrary, a father is meant to love his wife and his children. He is also meant to be strong for them. A warrior he should be, who is meant to kill his tears and put up a smile, even when he is hurting.
Tough, isn’t it? But isn’t man created to take tough decisions? My 2023 wish for all fathers is fatherhood with humanity. Emotion makes us human. Lack of it makes man a beast.
Happy Father’s Day.
©️Akin Oluwadare Jnr
19 June 2023
