Empower your spouse. I did not say empower your wife, lest the female gender think that this message is for men only. Read me well and please read again, empower your spouse. “E get why” (there is a reason for it).
Generally speaking, money and position are the two commonest manifestations of power but there are many more essentials, rarely talked about, that are capable of rendering your money and position powerless.
Whether position or money, either of the couple can have more in the contemporary world where the female gender is making waves in all spheres of human endeavour. Please, empower your spouse.
Empowerment comes in various forms but one is more likely to think of financial empowerment anytime it is mentioned. We cannot deny it that money can do many things but it is a fact that money cannot do all things.
It is the desire of every couple to have it all good in their chosen careers but it is normal when one does better than the other. If you are the more privileged, wisdom requires you to encourage and support your spouse to be up to speed in his/her career too, even if your earnings is more than sufficient to sustain the family. Sometimes, it is not about money but the sense of self worth from your spouse that s/he is also of great value.
If it is emotional stability you have more than your spouse, please lend some to him/her and don’t bother taking it back. Your spouse will need it to stabilise you when your money or your title may fail to come to your rescue. You may also need to lend some part of it in return when you need to stabilise your spouse.
If you are more prayerful than your spouse, it is normal to intercede for him/her and shield the entire family under spiritual cover. Beyond interceding, please encourage your spouse to build strength in prayer too because of times when you may be too weak, even to pray for yourself.
However successful you are, don’t get carried away by your exploits to make your spouse too dependent on your choices to the extent that s/he subsumes his/her plans into yours. It is very unsafe for your spouse to depend solely on your compass to navigate without having a clear direction of his/her own pathways. Things do change.
No one wishes for low moments but downtime is not alien to any man, it is an essential part of life. Sometimes all you need to reclaim yourself is not your money, not even your professional or social titles. Sometimes, all you need is simply a shoulder to lean on with assurances that everything is going to be alright.
If your spouse is not empowered to be strong when you are weak, you may remain down for a long time and the longer you stay on the ground, the weaker you become. Some don’t get to stand up again because there is no encourager nearby.
Love in its true sense requires couples to do things together but please empower your spouse to think independent of you, sometimes. There are times when you have to defer to his/her choices even when you don’t agree. Respect his/her privacy and his/her choices, sometimes. Let him make his mistakes and learn.
Too much interdependence has its own buts. If your spouse has to wait for you before taking any decision, you may be unwittingly nurturing a weakling when you should actually be building a champion in your spouse.
Don’t focus too much on the basics to forget the essentials. I leave you to define what constitute the basics and the essentials for you but don’t let the pursuit of success define you. Define what success means to you. Empowering your spouse puts you on the driver’s seat and prevents you from becoming a slave to the pursuit of your goals. I come in peace.
©️Akin Oluwadare Jnr
30 August 2021
