WHEN LOVE LEADS

Some events do not need our permission to find a space in our consciousness. Like it or not, you cannot wish Valentine’s Day away even if you don’t believe in it. Irrespective of your faith, Christian, Muslim, Hindus or even if you are a free thinker, whichever of the stories about St. Valentine’s Day you choose to believe, one thing that is not controvertible is that love is at the centre of valentine. When love leads, there is less strive and more peace. The good thing is that it is more natural to love than to hate. This is why children are the best definition of love. Put children of different backgrounds together and you will see boundless love on display. They disagree, they quarrel but the next minute, they are together again. Children don’t usually know the meaning of hate until they are conscious enough to start adding meaning to words and actions. This they learn with age and from adults.

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ON THE MARCH AGAIN

Show me an entity that is about to get its leadership right and I will show you a setting that is about to set the pace to do new things. It’s no rocket science. It’s either you are doing something new or you are doing old things in new ways before you can get new results, particularly if you are displeased with the results on your hands. Nigeria is on the march again, looking for Mr President. Events of the past few weeks have altered the political landscape. Politicking is in full swing and horse trading has almost gone full circle. The political atmosphere is charged. Tongues are beginning to wag and tempers are already rising. We are on the march again, looking for Mr Fix it.

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DO YOU HAVE A WILL?

Whatever your interpretation, you read me right. Do you have a will? The will to do something great or the will that relates to your estate in the event of transition. Both are intended but without mincing words and for the purpose of clarity, my interest in this message is on the latter. The same way we refrain from discussing sex and sexuality with children is the same way we avoid discussing death and departure with adults but these two events are the gateway to human existence. One is for procreation and the other reminds us that our time here on earth is temporal. I don’t wish you dead and I don’t mean to scare you but death is the truth we don’t like hearing. There are some questions we don’t like answering, death related question is one of them. Is it not an irony that everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die? This message may not be for everyone and I’m unable to define the age group to which it applies but the message bears relevance to all readers irrespective of age. Reason is that age comes with time and time ticks regardless of circumstance.

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(NOT) TO DO LIST

Many times we draw a long list of what to do but forget what not to do to create enough room for what to do. It’s like buying new clothes to change your wardrobe without letting go of the old stock. It’s like putting old and new wine in the same bottle. You won’t get the optimum taste. If truly you are growing, some things that used to matter to you will stop bothering you. If everything that mattered to you years ago still matter to you today, please check. You may just be adding years to your life but not life to your years. Both are important. This happened to me many years ago in Lagos. A commercial bus driver recklessly broke my side mirror in traffic. In a matter of minutes, mediators gathered to appease me to let go of the driver but I refused. Why should I let him go without paying for my mirror? I quipped. After over two hours, some of the mediators got tired of begging me (or so I thought) and left. I also got tired of being begged and was ready to let go to continue my journey. It was only then I realised that my other mirror had been dismembered from my car. I wasted my time, wasted my energy and lost two mirrors instead of one.

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THE RICH DON’T LIKE COMPETITION

What really makes a place developed? Is it the skyscrapers? Is it the good roads? Rail lines? Or is it the provision of social amenities that guarantee minimum basic welfare for the citizenry? What makes a country developed? As I juggle with answers in my mind, I remember a movie I watched sometimes back where one of the actors said that “politicians don’t like people who do good just because it is right. They get nervous.” I ruminated over this quote and I began to understand why the rich protect their club from being crowded. It occurred to me that the more a society creates super rich individuals in material wealth at the expense of a greater majority with rich mindset, the poorer the society will become. A country is as developed as the vision of the leaders. Every other thing is an add on and a given. Wealth does not create vision, it is the other way round. Visionary leadership propels quality mindset of the citizenry.

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KEEP IT LOCKED

It’s 2022. Goal setting should not necessarily follow a pattern but it is common to set goals at the dawn of a new calendar year. Sometimes the goals are clear, at other times they could be blurry. Even if everything appears blurry, you still have to set goals for your journey not to be aimless. I hope to find a company in you as we journey through 2022. You have to be sure of what you want, else you will be swimming with the tides and this could be dangerous. The ideas that form in your mind may not make sense at first but ideas are not fully formed until you get started. When your goals become clearer and you begin to make sense of it, that is a good time to ringfence your goals from undue influence. Keep it locked. God can give your friend five talents if He deposited in him the capacity to manage the five talents to flourish. The same God can give you just one talent if He knows that your single talent will take you to your place of destiny. If you are not discerning, you can leave your one talent and start chasing the path your friend is treading if things are working for him. That journey will lead you to nowhere. It is dangerous to travel fast in the wrong direction.

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THE YEAR 2021

By this time next week, the year will not only be spent but it will be done and dusted. So much to cheer but not without stories that touch the heart. If yours is full of wins, raise an altar of thanksgiving in praise of Yahweh. If you had some losses, it’s still yes and yes in songs of praises to the host of heaven. If it’s a mixed bag, don’t forget to praise and praise because it is one sure way to victory. Allow me to say that 2021 will roll by but not without its lessons if only you care to listen. Head or tail, life is full of lessons for those who are full of ears with their heart in company. Some learn from wins but others learn from losses. More often than not, I’ve learnt to be awake even when I’m sleeping. Not that I hate sleep but because sometimes you listen best when the noise is deafening.

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NOW THAT CHRISTMAS IS HERE

Some feelings are indescribable, the feeling that comes with Yuletide is one of them. Some moments have unique identifiers, Christmas season stands tall among the rest. Now that Christmas is coming, the feeling I have is holiday-like. What is a holiday? Robert Orben described it as having nothing to do and all day to do it. Christmas is here, the feeling is infectious. I just want to wish you a Merry Christmas. Everything about Christmas is special. The atmosphere is different. Whether in Africa or Asia, Europe or America, from the Middle East to the Far East, no one denies the coming of Christmas.

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BEWARE OF SELF ADULATION

There is a very thin line between self appreciation and self adulation. Sitting in between the two is pride. Appreciation and adulation both start with letter A, one is positive but the other has negative meaning. The tricky part is that only you can save yourself from self adulation. Beware of pride. I gave a tip of an experience I had during my university days in a short message recently. There is a lot more to learn from the full story. I am glad I had that experience early in life. It taught me the danger in ego boosting. I remember that the second semester was about to be concluded with the final exams in progress. We were in the bus commuting from the campus to town. Everything was going on well until a final year student, who was standing, jokingly requested for the seat of another student who looked too quiet to have been a returning student.

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THE BULLY IN ALL OF US

There is a bully in all of us. It takes a great deal of discipline, good nature and godliness to minimise bullying tendencies particularly when we are in position of power, be it social, political or economic. The heart-rending news of the passage of Sylvester, a boarder in a secondary school in Lagos, whose promising life was aborted in the most unfortunate manner, should serve as a wake up call to all of us not to ignore bullying, even when in disguise. I imagine the pains that Sylvester’s family is nursing at this difficult time. My heartfelt condolences to the bereaved family. The truth that is coming to the fore is that many parents contribute to the bullying of their wards when they fail to listen to them even when they have things to say. In a bid to meet the dictates of the society, many times we undermine the unique nature of our children and force a new nature on them. We ride roughshod on their personality until they tune off and stop talking to us or anyone.

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