FROM ME TO YOU

Many things announce Yuletide, a season of joy. Europe or America, Middle East or Asia, there is a peculiar feeling that announces the season. In Africa where I belong, there is no other feeling like Christmas. When the weather is hazy, then you know Christmas is coming. The songs that rent the air are not the usuals for all seasons. When activities peak and showing of love becomes the norm, then you know that Christmas is near. Old and young, the feeling is just the same. Christmas is not race sensitive, I hope you know. Religion accords Christmas its dues, irrespective of faith. Social or economic class defer to Christmas. Why can’t every day even be like Christmas? The season is here and I am just excited. Many reasons to be grateful to the Author of life. If you are the discerning type you will know that every cycle completed is just by His grace. This joy is mine but I’m glad to share.

You may think it is one of those things but I can tell you that an average human being feels more accepted wherever he can communicate effectively. Communication is two way, it involves not only hearing, but being heard. I used to attend a particular church when I arrived Lagos after my service year. The church had a considerable balance of the major ethnic nationalities, at least in the southern part of the country. I really can’t tell if it was by coincidence but it happened that the choir was predominantly populated by a particular ethnic nationality, even though the presiding pastor is of another ethnic nationality. Gradually but consistently, praise and worship sessions became so skewed to a particular native tongue that the rest of us who don’t speak the language were left to enjoy only the rhythm of the melodious music coming from the choir, even when we didn’t understand the message.

Civilisation comes with lots of advantages. Modernisation offers more ingenious ways to aid human interaction. Technology provides tools for ease of doing business but there has not been an alternative to the human factor. It is unlikely there will ever be. Social security should be taught and learnt as early as when a child begins to learn ABC. In advanced climes, an individual is given a social security number that captures all information about him to the tiniest detail. This underscores the importance of social security. In recent times, a cursory look at reported cases of suicide clearly reveals that economic problem is not the biggest problem humans are dealing with. This should redirect our thought on the need to revisit our social interactions. Money plays a big role in human existence. This explains why man unconsciously prioritise economic security, but to think that financial security can make up for laxity in social security is to reduce life to figures. Life is too complex to be solved by a mathematical equation.

Imagine a woman just diagnosed with breast cancer. If it’s within her ability, she would wish that this is not disclosed to her, but it is a conversation she must have. Or imagine a man who just lost his job. He would wish the news is about something pleasantly different but the job loss is the reality that must be talked about. It is natural for us as humans to wish for news that are positive. Our mind is wired to seek for positivity around the things we desire. Many times we do this even at our own expense when we avoid news that do not support our aspiration, just because we don’t like to have the difficult conversation. The examples I gave are extreme situations, discussion of which can no longer be avoided. This may be due to deliberate avoidance of the subject before it became an emergency. Some difficult conversations are better if you have them at the right time when you still have alternatives, to save you from difficult outcomes. Relocating abroad is one of them, popularly referred to as ‘japa’.

This is true life story. It should be about five years ago. I remember it was somewhere around Iju Ishaga in Lagos. I was alone in the car, enjoying the sweet melodies from Commander Ebenezer Obey’s collections. Imagine one of those weekend jigs when all you want to do is unwind. I just pulled out of a temporary parking on the roadside and about to do a U turn at a small opening on a dualised road. I had checked my side mirror and everything looked safe. The other side of the road was free and my mind was already at my destination. All these happened in a flash. My foot was on the accelerator, ready to move. The collision would have been heavy. It might even have been fatal because the car coming behind me was on top speed. A second look beyond my shoulder saved me what could have been a calamity. I escaped what would have been a terrible accident that never was. Looking back, all I can say is to God be the glory.

If you tell any man (or woman) that he is not responsible, it is very unlikely that he will smile. If he does, it might be to enable him gather his thoughts to know how best to react in equal measure. If he finds his words, it is also unlikely it will be pleasant to the ears. I spent some time thinking about it. If put in context, to say that I am not responsible may not be an abuse after all. It may just be a statement of fact. To be responsible goes beyond decency, good character and moral uprightness. Responsibility has different layers. Beyond being responsible as an adolescent, an adult starts becoming responsible when he starts to think beyond himself, when he starts to take responsibilities for others. If your thinking is limited to how your decision affects you alone, you may be responsible but not responsible.

An average man sees fault in others faster than he sees in himself. It is not necessarily out of bad behaviour. You will see a stain on your neighbour’s nose faster than you see a stain on your own nose, not minding that your nose is the closest to your eyes. Nature made it so. People are going through stuff. The economy is not smiling. To maintain social status has become more expensive. People break promises not for lack of character but for lack of capacity. You may think you are affected more than others but dare not compare your story with others. You will be humbled. Many are bleeding but are still leading. Think twice before you condemn anyone for not meeting your expectations. The one you blame for not helping out is probably looking up to someone who is looking up to another someone who is unable to help because of dashed expectations. Is respite in sight? It doesn’t appear so in the immediate. The Russian/Ukraine war is not abating. Energy crisis pervades Europe. Food shortage traverses Africa, no thanks to insecurity. The Asian market is not immune. America grapples with rising cost of living. It is the same story across the continents.

After seven decades as the British Monarch, Queen Elizabeth Alexandra, simply known as Queen Elizabeth II, takes a final bow as her remains is laid to rest to pave way for a new era. King Charles III is the new Monarch. By divine providence, barely 48 hours to the Queen’s last breath, Elizabeth Truss became the fifteenth Head of Government to shake hands with the late Queen as the Head of State of the United Kingdom. Prime Minister Liz Truss has now taken full charge as the Head of Government. PM Liz Truss started as a liberal democrat in her days in the university. She was the president of Oxford University Liberal Democrats. In a dramatic twist of history, she now finds herself on the right wing, not just as a conservative but leader of the conservative party and by extension the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. There is an interesting side to the story. PM Truss was a major campaigner for the abolition of the monarchy in her teenage years in the university when she was a liberal democrat by heart. To think that PM Truss now works directly with the palace to get approvals for her policies reinforces the maxim - never say never. From there, I took a lesson.

It was the end of an era on Thursday 08 September 2022. The curtain fell for the Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and the Head of State of the United Kingdom and 14 other Commonwealth realms, Queen Elizabeth II. The world will miss her cerebral reign as the British Monarch for seven decades. She was a phenomenon. The news media, both electronic and print, have been agog with minute by minute updates of the events lined up for the final funeral rites of passage of the late monarch, expectedly so. The death of the British Monarch is one of the biggest news of this century. If there is anything I pay keen attention to in major world events, it is the leadership lessons. As the lined-up events unfold towards the final resting of The Queen, there is a lot to learn from the sustenance of the culture and history of the British people. Personally, I’m thrilled. The order of protocols is amazing. Of course, on account of old age and concerns over her health in recent times, the death of The Queen is not unexpected but it is obvious that none of the institutions was caught unawares. Everyone is alive to his responsibilities and the world watches in admiration.