inspiration post

If you know how to ask questions, you are most likely to know how best to answer questions. Knowing how to answer questions is as important as knowledge itself. Communication is two way and listening has been proven to be an integral part of communication. Great leaders are listeners. They not only ask questions, they listen. What is communication if not to pass your message to sell yourself, your idea or your product to the would-be buyer? Be that as it may, some things are better not said except you are asked. It’s good to display your knowledge with convincing words but knowing where to stop is wisdom. You may have good knowledge but still blow away a good opportunity if you say more than is required. Sometimes, you are better off if you save the details. If you are not sure of the interest of your audience, it is unsafe to reveal all that you know before you are asked because an unsolicited information may be your albatross. Reserve some words for later.

I have read a lot about purpose. I have heard about influence. I have not only been led, I have had the privilege to lead. I have taught and I have written on leadership and leadership development. Studies revealed to me that leadership and influence are strongly connected. Leadership involves influencing others to a particular way of reasoning or doing things to achieve a desired objective. One common denominator to leadership and influence is purpose. It applies to every individual or a group of two or more. What is your reason? What do you set out to achieve? That is your purpose. One of the ways to know if you are achieving your purpose is to weigh the impact you are making on others. After all no man is an island unto himself. An influential leader with a purpose as clear as the crystal glass may fail the test if his impact is not felt. No one is created to live for himself alone. Whatever your calling is, others should benefit from your ingenuity.

I once bumped into a conversation where someone asked what is the best time for one to plan for his retirement. Stretched a little further, what is the best time to plan for old age? This question is often reserved for middle aged and working class but I believe it is a question to be directed at everybody, even life starters. In essence, my message is for all my readers. In my opinion, the best time to plan for old age was the moment you became conscious of yourself. If you did not do it then, the next best time to plan for your retirement is now. Important as it is, the anxiety that surrounds retirement could make one to get immersed in planning for the future to forget the now. You have to live in the now before you can enjoy life in the after now. It is common practice to yearn for the counsel of financial experts and investment gurus while one is planning for his retirement. This is not enough. What about relationship experts? Health advisors? Spiritual mentors? Fun makers? Fitness experts? Holiday planners? Content creators?

Bicameral legislature is an American model. Only that the quality of engagement in the upper and lower chambers in America, after inauguration, is more of governance than politics.

Amidst the vicissitudes of life, what sustains man the most is hope. Many who are going through stuff keep going because there is hope to cling to. This hope keeps assuring them that things can only get better. Remove that hope and all will be lost. Hope applies in all situations. When the going is good, you hope it will be better. When better beckons, you begin to hope for the best. Even the worst situation still hopes that bad times will turn to good and better will turn to best. However, to keep hope alive is not the same as to hope on hope. If your hope has to depend on another hope, you are hoping on hope. You could lose control and not be in charge. That is a dangerous way to live. Football followers can relate better with this in a point based qualification competition, where your team’s success would depend on either the success of another team or even the failure of a rival team.

This is the third time I am asking this question but the more I ask, the more innocent lives are lost to avoidable deaths. We talk about death casually but I cannot but keep asking - what is the worth of an average Nigerian? Another nine (9) lives were lost in cold blood at Ojuelegba, Lagos penultimate Sunday. Yes, nine innocent lives were terminated by a fallen container in a system that keeps talking about the problem but does so little to solve the problem. Even to non-Nigerians, Ojuelegba is a renowned centre, not only in Lagos but in Nigeria. Thanks to the late king of Afro Beats, the Abami Eda himself, Fela Anikulapo Kuti, when he sang 🎼for Ojuelegba 2x, moto dey come from east, moto dey come from west, moto dey come from north, moto dey come from south🎼 Motor is still coming from all the four cardinal points at Ojuelegba but containers are falling from the overhead bridge to snuff lives out of innocent Nigerians on regular basis. It is more like a ritual and I cannot but ask again, what is a Nigerian worth? Accidents do happen but what makes ours fearfully different is that we can predict our accidents. I had cause to pass through the scene of this accident barely two hours after it happened.

I once asked myself why two people in love would suddenly fall out of mutual feelings for each other, sometimes to the point of irritation. I still wonder why two people who could hardly do things without each other would suddenly find pleasure anywhere else but the company of the once beloved partner. Many times, things degenerate to the point of resentment that separation becomes an option. Sometimes, things become irreparable that either party begins to contemplate outright divorce. I think beauty is relative, just like success. At different stages in life, what counts as beauty for one may not make meaning to the other. Marriage is a good example. Sometimes, it is difficult to understand why a woman whose beauty is admired by everyone else outside ceases to thrill her husband, suddenly. The story of the ‘Superman’ to others outside is better told by his wife, who experiences him first hand, even at his vulnerable moment. Sometimes, the story is not the same as what outsiders see. I still keep wondering but it occurred to me that outward beauty is what others see. Only one person sees and keep seeing the inner beauty. Outward beauty may just be enough to start any relationship but it takes a perfect combination of both inner and outward beauty to sustain the relationship. Issues arise when there is a wide variation between the two.

Recently, I did an audit of my friends list to be sure that I am not depleting my network of friends. As a social and political animal that I am, it is practically impossible not to have my opinion on how I am governed. I realised that a good way to preserve my circle of friends is to avoid deep political conversation with some of them who are so convicted about their political beliefs and would yield to no view different from what they desire. Nothing divides like politics but nothing unites like politics. It sounds like a paradox but don’t they say the only permanent aspect of politics is interest? I have seen erstwhile sworn enemies unite, in quest for power, to the consternation of their observers. It is what it is. Like it or hate it, politics leads. Even if you don’t agree, politics controls everything. We got to where we are because many believed that politics is not their business and would rather mind their business. How wrong! Things have changed. The political atmosphere has become maximally charged. Nigerians have never been more politically aware but never have we been so intolerant of opposing views like we have seen in recent times.

Have you ever told your friend you are on your way when, truly, you are yet to set out? If you have ever done so, you are not alone. It is an indication that you are well aware that people don’t like to wait, especially when the reason for your delay was unintended. Indeed, waiting is tough. I recall an occasion when I was billed to attend a social gathering with my old classmates. I reminisced the old times and I looked forward to the fun. I was ready ahead of time but had to wait for another classmate whom we were to attend together. For reasons not entirely due to my friend’s fault, minutes turned to hours, with repeated assurances from my friend that he was just a moment away. After a long time of waiting, the excitement I looked forward to waned and I almost lost the interest to go for the get together. Eventually my friend came and we journeyed to the event. Hard as I tried to enjoy every moment of fun the gathering offered, it was hard for me to forget the anxiety and disappointment that enveloped me while my wait lasted. My friend tried to make a joke of my mood but I doubt if he knew that he spoilt the fun for me, for all it was worth. This was a social event and the wait lasted only for few hours. A gathering of old schoolmates is of value but have you thought of waiting for things of greater value for an undeterminable waiting time? If you have not waited for things of greater value before, please tarry before you make any comment about anyone who has had to wait.

Every man likes affirmation. No man enjoys criticism but again, any man whose views go unchallenged all the time should watch his back. It is not an evidence of bravery, neither does it pass for unmatched wisdom for you to have opinion that is always right. If you get keep getting a yes to all you say, chances are that you have been isolated to your delusion that you know it all. A fool is better than a wise man who takes pride in being right all the time. A critic is not supposed to be an enemy, depending on his motive for criticising. It is not enough to have the right motive, your motive for criticising must be clearly stated. A critic becomes an enemy if his motive deducts value rather than add value to the subject. If I mean well for you, it is unlikely I get you to see reason with me if I have to debase your dignity to pass my message.