For some reasons, my early years was under the care of my maternal grandmother. I recall vividly that giving to that generation was more than money and material wealth. They gave everything they had, including their time and prayers.
If my grandmother was going to pay someone a visit, she had a gift for her host. If she was the host, the visitor would not leave her without a gift. It was not about money, neither the materiality of the gift. Giving, to her, was an attitude.
My adolescence to adulthood was under the tutelage of my mother. She inherited the giving attitude of my grandmother 100%. She could spend a whole day calling family and friends. Giving to them was not about who has more money or wealth, it was simply an attitude.
I inherited many things from my mother and grandmother but I still struggle with their attitude on giving. Before you call me names, look around and see if giving is an attitude of this generation, beyond money and material possessions.
A friend who lives abroad recently lamented to me how he chided his sister for always asking him for money. He reminded his sister that since he traveled to America, even when he visits home, his sister has never given him a gift.
My friend’s sister shocked him when she proudly reminded him that he is richer and hence, he should be the one to always give. I told my friend that giving, to his sister, is more about material possessions, not an attitude.
There is a Yoruba proverb – “Gba fun Raji n’ile lo ni gba fun Gbada l’oko”, literally translated to mean the gift sent to Raji (at home) by Gbada (in the farm) warrants a gift (most likely a better gift) from Raji to Gbada (in the farm). My translation may not be accurate, linguists can help me out in the comment section.
I visited home this last Christmas. I was moved to tears when one of the few people on my gifting list brought banana to me as a gift when it was time for me to return to my base. To her, it was not about the value of the gift or the economic status of the beneficiary. Giving, to her, is an attitude.
Make giving an attitude. A courtesy telephone call, just to ask after the welfare of that your rich uncle, whom you think has everything he desires, may be a priceless gift he needs from you when he is dealing with a burden he cannot share. It is not always about money and what money can buy.
You may think you don’t have any material gift that could thrill that your influential Aunty, but showing interest in what she loves is a gift you can sow into her life. You wonder how? The time you spend making her feel good about what she loves is not her right, it is a gift from you that you may not imagine the positive impact on her.
As I was thinking about the first gift I could give my readers in this new year, I stumbled on this picture online. I found the regal posture of the three wise women a beauty to behold. They tagged it love, the biggest of all gifts. Please, take it as my priceless gift that money cannot buy.
In 2025, give, not only because you have excess, but because it is an attitude.
Happy New Year.
©️Akin Oluwadare Jnr
06 January 2025
